They said it was a Toothbrush...
     by Chris Lang

They said it was a toothbrush,
     but I use it to stir coffee,
And this old pile of plates
     makes a very attractive stool.
I keep my jewelry in a multiplex birdfeeder,
     and get investment advice from plumbers.

What am I?

I like to eat midnight breakfasts,
     and name whatever I walk on "Sam",
Because it's nice to know that someone
     notices my every step.
My arms have gotten strong from
     occasionally dancing with things that are bolted down.

What am I?

When I want to entertain a guest,
     I invite them into the kitchen,
So we can make music and sculptures
     from strangely textured foods.
They say, These aren't the destinies
     such things were destined for!

So, then,

What am I?
         or
Can I choose to be more?